Lottie Rose, You made me a mom.
You were my first. I saw how it was possible to have my heart walking around outside of me. How in a moment my life’s focus, goals and expectations all could change. In that instant I knew my life would never be the same, my priority was now you.
You made me a mom.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew we were starting out on an adventure unlike any other. Your first kicks were my first visions of you. I knew you were in there growing stronger and it was my responsibility to take care of you since those first kicks.
The sleepless nights tested me. You know I’m worthless on no sleep, and yet you continued to kick and do somersaults into the early morning. Together we laid awake dreaming of what our life would be like, with no concept of reality because you were my first. I didn’t know how to be a mom yet, and couldn’t imagine what you would look like, but I knew I had 9 months to figure it out.
You made me a mom.
When labor set in I was scared, but excited. I was exhausted, but running on adrenaline. Every minute was a blur, but I knew it was one minute closer to meeting you. I stopped caring about how many people were in the room and threw out any concept of a birth plan – it was time to meet you and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.
I was finally a mom.
You made me a mom.
I had never changed a diaper before you. I didn’t know what it meant to console a crying baby or what sleepless nights would do to me. Showering became less of a concern, really all of my basic needs sat second to yours those first few months. My selfishness turned into selflessness. You did that to me.
You made me a mom.
I looked at your dad differently after you were born. From day one, you had him wrapped around your tiny little finger. His ability to calm me down and care for you. His hugs that came at the exact time I needed them. The millions of diapers he changed. The amount of coffee he made for me. The nights he took the late-shift to give me an extra hour of sleep. Without your dad, I wouldn’t be as good of a mom.
You made me a mom.
The first time you smiled at me. The first time you rolled over. The first time you crawled. The first time you walked. The first time you looked up and I could see it in your eyes, you knew I was your mom.
These are all firsts that will repeat themselves, but you gave me the first of the firsts.
You were my first.
<3 This is so beautiful!